3 Ways to Stop Crabby Dream Stealers
This post is for you if you are thinking of redefining success after 50 or for that matter at any age. When you become an entrepreneur you must believe in yourself when no one else does. There are crabby dream stealers even within your own circle of family and friends. They must be stopped for your success to reveal itself.
Belief
Sometimes when we start our entrepreneur home business our excitement takes over any logical thinking. Mapping out a business plan is rarely given much thought either. Operating on sheer excitement is not a smart business plan yet it jump starts many network marketing businesses.
But if you are like me you don’t get started for initial success. You are looking for long term success and the income that goes with it, right? In order to achieve any long term success you will need to dig deep, stop the crabby dream stealers and believe in what you have offer.
Beware the-dream stealers
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I feel it’s my duty to expose who some of those crabby dream stealers may be. (This list is not meant to be inclusive nor exclusive) Those who love us the most will want to protect us from home-based business opportunities like network marketing.
Family can either be your biggest supporters and cheerleaders or they can be your worst nightmare.
Why? Because of the dream stealers quotes like “they heard from Uncle Joe that Aunt Sally did one of those things and she didn’t make any money”.
Really? Did anyone ask Aunt Sally why she didn’t make money from home? Was it because she bought a kit then didn’t attend any meetings, presentations or even open her mouth to share what she was excited about?
Maybe Aunt Sally just wanted the kit so she could get her product at a discount never intending to build a business.
The crabby dream stealers have now has stolen your dream of breaking the mold and building one of the best home businesses for your future. You must believe in yourself when no one else does, not even your family.
Friends can also be great supporters.
But, beware friends can also become jealous of the time you now spend in your business. Time you used to spend shopping, having lunch or simply hanging out with them is now dedicated to your business. You’re new found success and journey to becoming a leader shines a light on what might be missing in their lives.
Always keep in mind these issues are theirs not yours. When your accomplishments make another person feel uncomfortable and lash out at you take a step back, don’t react. It is simply their inability to face their own choices it has nothing to do with you, yet it does hurt. This is part of the journey of building a business although not a pleasant part.
Believing in yourself while building a business is tough no matter how you look at it. You’ll go through a lot of personal growth. You’ll learn skills that are foreign to you right now. You’ll also learn how to communicate better and more. Those closest to you are not going to like the initial change as it reflects on the lack of their personal growth.
So, you’re probably wondering what this deal with the crab theme is, right.
Let me share a little story with you.
Years ago at one of my network marketing company’s events I heard this story about the crab pot. It had such a profound impact on me and my business journey that I felt it was worth sharing with you, too.
You see, there is a huge crab pot full of crabs. 
The water is cold and the crabs are simply chilling out, not stirring at all. The chef turns on the heat and the water begins to warm up.
Now several of the crabs at the bottom are getting a little warm and begin to claw their way to the top of the pile of crabs. Others are still just chilling not giving the impending heat much thought.
As the heat intensifies the few crabs on top are now clawing each other trying to reach the top of the pot to get out of the hot water. Still others are now not chilling but are not sure what is going on. All of a sudden, in a matter of minutes all of the crabs start clawing trying to pull those crabs back into the pot.
It’s too late…now the water is at a full on boil. The crabs at the bottom of the pot are now cooked. The few crabs that had vision at the beginning of the heat and worked their way up were able to successfully scale the pot to safety.
The moral of the story – how to avoid negativity
The crabs in the story above are representative of you, me and our family and friends. The pot of water represents our jobs and current life circumstances.
You see the crabs were perfectly happy in the cool water all together, miserable. They all faced the same imminent end…cooked. However, at the first sign of “heat” some took action and successfully survived. The others who were complacent did not.
Those crabs or friends and family mean well. They just don’t have the drive or determination to go after their dreams like you and me. Yet, they are more than willing to pull you right back down into the crab pot of broke, miserable and hopeless to dwell forever more with them.
When we step up and out to follow our dreams there will be crabby dream stealers.
Below are three ways to stop the crabby dream stealers:
- You must believe in yourself more than anyone else to follow your dreams, to build your business and future success. Don’t allow your crabby dream stealers to cook your dreams.
- Claw your way to your dreams, shout them from the rooftops and believe that you can. Rise up share your passion with those who are out there waiting for what you’ve got to offer.
- Don't ever quit on yourself, your hopes and dreams. After all, we are all responsible for our own choices. Choose wisely, believe and take action today. Step into your greatness and do it with all you've got. You are worth it.
Now, it's your turn. Share in the comments below your dreams, hopes and what you've done to stop your crabby dream stealers and pursue your dreams.
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"Very well put. I've been with a health and nutrition company for over 26 years and I understand exactly what you are going through. I shiver to think what my health might be today at age 68 had I not stuck to my guns as far as practicing what I preach. Yes, I fall off the wagon regularly but my daily routine life reflects taking care of my health. That way I can keep up (somewhat) with my 7 grandchildren. You keep it up, Carla". 
"For most people the thought of venturing out there in pursuit of your dreams, in a place outside of your comfort zones is just what stops them. But I could sense your excitement not resentment in going against the competition. In planting your stake and truly making a difference in the clients experience. That's ultimately what matters, the rest just falls so easily into place. Thanks for that reminder"! 
Carla, I’ve got to say that I LOVE your focus on the joys and challenges facing women over 50. I’m definitely in that camp! I’ve been inspired by your candor, practical ideas, and refreshing determination to joyfully tackle life. The hours we’ve spent on the phone, in person, and through social media have enriched my life immeasurably. YOU are one Fiery Grandma, and I love your style! 
I have known Carla Gardiner for 6+ years. We met at a business training for bring business online. She is a business women at heart and willing to do the hard things to make the results show up. I have watched her run a business, work a job and take care of her family. She is a go getter when it comes to putting in the work to build her business to the level of being able to enjoy her grand kids.
She is the example that age is not a limit it is a tool for sharing knowledge to those she empowers to use their own skills and talents. Excuses are fuel to push her to learn and apply. I have seen her scared to death about implementing new technology and rock it out despite the learning curve.
I love watching you grow into your greatness Carla! Don’t slow down. 
"Carla, you are a model for me to follow. I love your site. And, I like what you have to say - very kind, very gracious. I have to say though that nothing in my life has ever been crystal clear". 
"I've known Carla for 5+ years and can tell you that she has lived every bit of this and more. We shared tears and laughs and hard work....you will enjoy getting to know Carla."
Great post! The commitment to achieving your dreams is your great weapon against the dream stealers. What do you say?
I’ve learned who I can share my dreams with and who I can not. At first Lorii I took it personally, I resented that they didn’t see things the way I do. Now, I simply share my hopes and dreams with colleagues such as yourself…makes all of us happier.
It is so easy to get caught up in misery that we don’t know how to see a way out. I heard the crab story a long time ago but today really needed to hear it again.
Success is reaching for your dreams daily by taking action. You are truly inspiring! Blessed to know you and glad to have you back!
Thank you Katrina. I think of the crab story all the time. It gives me courage to take just one more step. One day I’ll look back and share the story with those in my family and be able to say “see, it was worth it, wasn’t it”…no matter what they say, I’ll know in my heart I did it for US.
Great topic Carla, and a difficult one indeed. There are so many issues and emotions that get dragged into the mix when those crabby dream stealers show up. It’s hard to work with, because it pushes all our buttons, and makes us feel like we’re under attack.
Sometimes it’s a matter of the other person not knowing how to say ‘I miss spending time with you’ in a way that isn’t offensive or hurtful. Other times their resentment is real and justified.
Trying to create success without the support of people we care about is an uphill battle we don’t want to keep climbing. Besides the 3 great things you mentioned to keep yourself focused, I would add:
4) look for solutions that move from what’s right/wrong or your way/my way to what is better,
5) find strategies to work smarter, not harder to give yourself more flex time
6) dare to have a courageous conversation with yourself and the other person to get important relationships back on track
You sure hit the nail on the head, Dawn. When the crabs begin stealing our dreams it does feel like they are attacking us making us feel unappreciated, inadequate and “dumb” for going after more than an 8 to 5 job and remaining broke.
Thank you for the suggestions to find a peaceful solution to the negative ones. It’s never easy stepping up and out as it is let alone feeling like you are going it alone without the support of those you trust and love.
Carla, I’ve learned that some of the dream-stealers are people who do not understand that if you succeed, they will not lose you. (Granted, others have other motives! But money plays such an important role and the fear is that if someone is successful, they’ll “abandon the tribe.”) In that case, the best thing we can do is be real reassuring, in which case they may just come around to be chearleaders instead!
Wow! I never thought about it that way before, Sharon. Thank you, it gives me something to hold onto and I’ll remember to reassure family that I’m not going anywhere except WITH them.
What a great article and so true…Sometimes family doesn’t believe in what I do and it can be very frustrating to fight through all that negative! I tend now to keep quiet while my diamond in the rough grows and I can stay positive.
Thank you!
Pretty amazing Gilly how all of us lean towards just keeping quiet with our hopes, dreams and goals. Especially since it is our families that will benefit right beside us…
This is absolutely fabulous! It is oh so true! It’s sad that the people closest to us are normally the ones who are the dream-stealers… because they are the ones that have the most ‘pull’ when it comes to influencing us… so that’s why it’s SUPER IMPORTANT for entrepreneurs to find support systems of like-minded folks to hang with to keep on keepin’ on 🙂 None of my friends (in the traditional sense, friends before I became an entrepreneur, friends in my personal life) think like I do… and none of my family does either…
It was hard at first to not be able to share something you love so much with the people you love so much… but I’ve learned through time, that for biz, it’s best just not to share about your dreams, thoughts, plans, all the exciting things you’re up to, none of it with friends and family, haha…. they just dont get it, they never will. I just keep all that stuff to share with my entrepreneur-family 🙂
You are so right, Robin…it is hard to let go of how others think about us. But, it’s critical to remain in a group of supporters who think and act like business owners and entrepreneurs do. Thanks for sharing your insight, I value you so much.
Great post there Carla with so much truth in it. Often it’s easier to keep your dreams from certain family/friends rather than have to face criticism and sarcasm. Have some lovely supporters though too in my friends and family. Just shame about the few negative ones!
You are so right, Kath. I’ve learned what to share and what NOT to share with family. Hard as it is at times I do my best to remain positive, not complain and definitely not to show weakness in any way.
Wow, it’s like you were writing about me! One of my friends from my old job has stopped talking to me, I was able to crawl out of the job crab pot, and make something of myself, but she is still there.
As for family, they were very sceptical at first, and are still sceptical about my future plans, but even they have had to admit that I have surpassed their expectations 🙂
I’m sorry to hear that your friends have stopped talking to you, Beki. Well, one day they will see your strengths and courage for what it is and hopefully come back to your good graces once again.
Carla, I could almost see those crabby dream stealers. I had a lot of them, and some were quite close to me. I can’t understand why envy for one who succeeds, from the ones who don’t dare to raise above their given condition. I’d be happy for any of my friends / family who will be successful in life and business.
Simona I totally understand where you are coming from and how you feel. My crabs are extremely close to me. All I know from personal experience is that the envy comes from not owning their own poor choices. They’d rather bask in mediocrity that ‘try’ anything to better themselves. It took guts for me to accept that and allow myself the right to improve and dream then move on to MY life’s pursuit.
So true….there are certainly people that I don’t share my business dreams with as I KNOW they would want to squash them! Those folks love me…but perhaps they just don’t want me to change! Thanks for this encouragement!
Now that is a great idea Cindy. Simply don’t share my thoughts and dreams…I’ll give it a go and keep you posted.
My dream is to be a New York Times best selling author.
How wonderful Lisa and what a goal. Maybe I can be one who helps that along?
This sure hit home, Carla. My room mate always and I mean always puts me down. I am slowly learning to ignore him and can’t wait till I am finally able to move out. Your story is such an inspiration. I needed to hear that today. Thank you and God bless. ((hugs))
I know the trials you’ve endured Alexandra. I sure hope your situation changes soon for your business and your health. Thank you for spending time with us today and sharing.
Nice post, Carla. I love the story of the cooked crabs. Makes for a powerful visual in my mind as I’m reading.
On another note: I love seafood, especially crab. I’m going to have to cook up a new menu soon…
That’s a great idea Rob…eat them…boil them add butter and eat…nice visual too…I can smell the deliciousness of that tender, white meat. lol
Thank for a very enjoyable read… these types of reminders are so important and you just made it so much fun! My little trick is to hear them, allow them, and reconfirm my beliefs within myself… it makes me stronger and puts a smile back on my face 🙂
You are so right, Cheryl. It is OUR journey, our life and it’s not for anyone else to steal it away. Just because the crabs are unhappy in their choices doesn’t mean we have to join or remain in the negativity with them.
My worst crab is (unfortunately) my mother who just doesn’t seem to understand that I ‘work from home’ – she thinks I have my days to myself – if only! Family and friends can hold you back – telephone calls when you are trying to work etc., you have to be strong sometimes and just say NO – I am busy. I love my work, am enjoying my journey – it’s hard at times but with the ‘belief’ I am getting there 🙂
I totally understand Diane. I have several close family members who are my “crabs”. Fighting it on a daily basis can get tiresome, draining and make you want to quit. Instead, I’ve chosen to block it out…you know like that Charlie Brown cartoon. All I can hear now is “blah blah blah, wah wah wah”…smile and don’t reply. Work to show her your passion, tenacity and results…she can’t argue with that…well, yes she can…but, you still win.
Excellent post, Carla. Those naysayers… jeepers! The very people you think will support try to drag you down. Frankly? I just tuned them out & did not listen to them at all! At this point, the people that matter to me support what I do even if they don’t understand it all. I am blessed! <3
Thank you Norma. I wish I would have tuned them out, but they were too close to me. Ended up fighting right before a conference and I left on a sour note. However, must have made a point because when I returned things have been a little different…less negative. Hmmm 😉
Wonderful article, Carla. You knocked it out of the park with this one!
You’re so right – negativity can be a real dream killer. And I loved the crab analogy. We have to “push through” when the going gets tough, when it seems that nothing is happening in our business or ministry.
Going to share this with a group of paralegal students I mentor who sometimes get discouraged in their job hunt and also in developing new skillsets.
Thanks again for this post!
Thank you Leslie for the encouragement. There are days when I am like your students, I want to quit. I feel overwhelmed with the negativity and without my support team I would quit. However, with my online friends like you and my business mentors I am able to regroup, step back, take a breath and begin again. With each new beginning I find I am further along in the journey and have helped many in the process. Now that is success.
I was fortunate when I started my beading business 6 years ago that I had a lot of support & no crabs. Over time my supporters got quiet & occasionally I get asked if I’m making tons of money. I remind them I love everything that I’m doing & continue to grow & expand because I have this business. The big bucks will come. Great inspirational blog Carla.
Thank you Roslyn. You inspire me with your tenacity and positivity.
This is a great reminder to us all to be mindful of what we say to others. Thank you. (I’d be lying if I said I was never guilty of being a “Crabby Dream Stealer” myself upon occasion…)
You know Connie now that you admit you are amongst those naysayers I must admit I have been one in the past, too. You are right, it is a reminder to always lift others up regardless if their dream is in line with ours or not.
Great post, Carla. It is so important to surround yourself with folks who will speak life into you and your business. One way of doing that is to get plugged into a group of Entrepreneurs and Small Business Owners. Another way is to constantly educating yourself, which in return will build your confidence and give you the oomph to succeed.
There will also be the crabby dream stealers in your life, and that’s when you focus on the thousands that surround you, support you, and encourage you.
Kelli you are so right. One of my saving graces is our group right on Facebook with Norma. I have several groups, plus my physical group of mentors in my network marketing company that help me stay true to my course. Thank you for being one of my supporters, encourages and promoters…I appreciate everything you do for me.
I cannot stand negativity… people who do not believe in what you are doing should keep to themselves..
Yes Rob you are right. The problem is we can not control what others do. All we can do is set the example, keep our heads down and continue on our journey and path to success. That in itself will be proof enough to share with those naysayers.
Carla, I love your story of overcoming the naysayers! So many of us have learned to people please we sometimes forget to listen to our own internal wisdom. Thanks for the reminder to stay tuned into our own knowing.
Thank you Christy! To date I still battle them on a daily basis. There are times I get frustrated and sometimes feel like quitting. However, then I look at the picture on my Facebook page, my 7 grandchildren (my why) and remember what I want out of MY life. I’m then able to get my feelings and emotions under control and get back to the task at hand.
I am 69 years old. Living on a very limited income. Am just starting my Weight Management Coaching Business. My Son keeps saying Dont rely on making an income from it Mother, there are thousands of Coaches out there. I am ignoring what he says, but those words keep echoing in my mind and I find it difficult to ignore.
However I get a lot of encouragement from friends and from sites like yours, and I just have to believe in what I am doing. I don’t want to make millions, but I do want abundance in my life to make quality of life more comfortable. I am practicing the Law of Attraction and this has worked for me so far. No income yet, but recently made a move to the city from the countryside. A big leap of faith and change of life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Patricia. You sound very much like me along my journey working from home. I wish I could tell you it gets easier and the negativity stops…but, that would be a lie. Just remember, they really do love us, they are just afraid we might get hurt, or fail, or succeed. But, deep inside of you is the drive, determination and dreams that make YOU … YOU. Hold onto those, work daily toward building that dream business and don’t let the naysayers get you down.
Great artice, Carla! Exactly the inspiration I needed to start my day!
Now that, Terri is exactly the inspiration I needed this morning…that this article touched someone for the positive. Thank you for sharing.