How To Eliminate Self Doubt That Feeds Fear
Day 18 of 100
Hey everybody! How are you? Welcome! As you pop on, be sure to give me some hearts. Let me know you are on live with us. Today was the last day of our convention. I feel better today than I felt yesterday. I’m still trying to figure out maybe it was a sinus thing going on but it wiped me out. I had a headache all day, didn’t really feel my best and I was like, “what is going on?”. But today, I felt better, much better. So, if you saw my post from earlier today, you saw that I mentioned fear and that’s the topic of today’s video, FEAR and it’s cousin, SELF-DOUBT. I’m not sure if any of you have ever gone through this but I really wanted to share what I got out of it. Before we get started …
For those of you that don’t know me. My name is Carla Gardiner. I’m known as the Fiery Grandma because I work from home leading women to have more fun, learning how to gain the confidence to look good, feel good and do good while updating their outdated wardrobe using $5 jewelry. If you are 50 or over and just need to get out that rocking chair and have more fun, come on along. If you’re under 50 and you need a mentor, I have 20 years’ experience in networking. I can show you how to make money while learning how to accessorize. Yep, I’m your girl because I know how to have fun and build a business at the same time.
So, today’s subject is fear. As I was listening to the talk, some thoughts popped into my head. I realized that there are a lot of parallels we can use in our everyday real life to compare how we feel or figure out some of the feelings that we have.
For example, how many of you like spiderwebs, spiders, or black widows? Any fans out there? Not here. I don’t like them. I know they’re good. Spiderwebs are necessary. They are the home and sometimes, are a tool that spiders use to catch their food, right?
When we’re comparing how we feel sometimes an example pops into our heads. For example, as you know, I am building my home-based business, right? I am looking for other women who like me want more. Maybe you are looking for more fun. Maybe you are looking for extra income. Maybe you are looking for more friends. But you have a feeling that you can’t quite get over to make that decision to say “hey”, to raise your hand and say “hey! That’s me. I want to do this.”
That was me and it’s still is kind of me. I realized that this weekend. What do spiderwebs, lies and black widows have to do with building a business? Here it is and I’m going, to be honest with you. I realized that my spiderweb is doubt, self-doubt. I doubt someone like me can succeed in building a home-based business. Now, isn’t that weird? I have that underlying self-doubt that I can really do it and help other people do it too.
The lie is this … I’m afraid of failure. Put a capital X thru that word “failure”. I’m not a failure. As long as I get up every day and put one foot in front of the other and share exactly what I do with other women, I’ve succeeded, right? The only way I can fail is to I quit. It’s as if I saw a zipper in this mouth and don’t say a word then I fail. So, doubting myself is a big fat lie. It is! We have got to be our own best cheerleader, right?
Here’s the deal. I’m afraid of those black widows and why am I afraid? It’s a little itty-bitty spider. I’m a big human being. I can squash it. And if I don’t want to get that close, I can use bug spray and nuke it. There is no need to be afraid at all. You are probably thinking, okay great, fine, honky-dory. So, how do you overcome those feelings of self-doubt, that fear of failure when that fear just lingers? It lingers like a fog over a bay, you know? It’s nasty stuff.
Here’s what I learned just today. I learned that when you have a support system when you have a community like the community of women and some guys that I’m involved with you have that support. There are people, women just like me who are succeeding every day by putting one foot in front of the other. Everyday. And when I am having those fears, when I am having those self-doubts, all I have to do to not fail is reach out to one of them and say “hey, I am having a tough day. Can you help me?” and with words of encouragement, guess what happens? Slowly but surely I gain more self-confidence. When I gain that self-confidence then I gain the courage to do it one more day, to try one more time. Eventually, when I show up, I succeed. But the only way I can be afraid and have fear is if I allow it.
So, I learned that we don’t have to be afraid to try. We can’t fail unless we don’t start. Pretty profound huh? So day 18 of 100 is all about self-doubt and fear and how to overcome it. It’s overcoming my self-doubt and fear of failure. Holding on to that community for support; that community of women who are having fun, who are just like me, who have all the same fears and self-doubts; but, because we stick together we’re strong. We support each other until. Until what? Until, until we get where we are going or until we succumb to the fear, the self-doubt and eventually the failure.
But you know what I decided today? It ain’t happening on my watch I am not giving in to fear. I am not giving in to self-doubt anymore. I am holding on to my friends and those I love and care about who will support me until.
So, if this message helped you in any way, feel free to share it. If you are the one who wants to raise her hand, wants to crush those self-doubts and get over your fear of becoming successful … raise your hand, reach out, let’s talk.
Don’t give in to fear. Don’t doubt yourself. If this is for you, put your hand up and say “Carla, I’m in”. Send me a private message. We’ll talk. Nobody else needs to know what you are thinking. They don’t need to know you are afraid. They don’t need to know you have self-doubt just like I do. I’m just in a different place that I can go live and share that I had those fears. And I didn’t realize I had them until I heard it related to another talk, another subject. And it hit me just like that, just like an acorn falling from a tree. I realized … that’s what’s the matter with me. So, I’m publicly denouncing I will no longer give in to self-doubts or have fear. I will not second guess myself and I will succeed in building a successful team of fun, loving people. Men and women who love have the confidence to look good, feel good and do good. And learn how to update their outdated wardrobes using affordable costumed jewelry. So, you guys, enjoy your evening and get rested up. Be ready to hit the ground running tomorrow.
"Very well put. I've been with a health and nutrition company for over 26 years and I understand exactly what you are going through. I shiver to think what my health might be today at age 68 had I not stuck to my guns as far as practicing what I preach. Yes, I fall off the wagon regularly but my daily routine life reflects taking care of my health. That way I can keep up (somewhat) with my 7 grandchildren. You keep it up, Carla". 
"For most people the thought of venturing out there in pursuit of your dreams, in a place outside of your comfort zones is just what stops them. But I could sense your excitement not resentment in going against the competition. In planting your stake and truly making a difference in the clients experience. That's ultimately what matters, the rest just falls so easily into place. Thanks for that reminder"! 
Carla, I’ve got to say that I LOVE your focus on the joys and challenges facing women over 50. I’m definitely in that camp! I’ve been inspired by your candor, practical ideas, and refreshing determination to joyfully tackle life. The hours we’ve spent on the phone, in person, and through social media have enriched my life immeasurably. YOU are one Fiery Grandma, and I love your style! 
I have known Carla Gardiner for 6+ years. We met at a business training for bring business online. She is a business women at heart and willing to do the hard things to make the results show up. I have watched her run a business, work a job and take care of her family. She is a go getter when it comes to putting in the work to build her business to the level of being able to enjoy her grand kids.
She is the example that age is not a limit it is a tool for sharing knowledge to those she empowers to use their own skills and talents. Excuses are fuel to push her to learn and apply. I have seen her scared to death about implementing new technology and rock it out despite the learning curve.
I love watching you grow into your greatness Carla! Don’t slow down. 
"Carla, you are a model for me to follow. I love your site. And, I like what you have to say - very kind, very gracious. I have to say though that nothing in my life has ever been crystal clear". 
"I've known Carla for 5+ years and can tell you that she has lived every bit of this and more. We shared tears and laughs and hard work....you will enjoy getting to know Carla."
