There are some things in life you can research to death.
You can ask everybody you know.
You can read reviews.
You can make your little pros-and-cons list.
And still…
Sometimes you just have to go there to know.
It’s okay to change your mind once you know more than you did when you started. I certainly have.
One of the strangest places I learned that lesson was years ago in New Orleans – with Rich, a business convention, a nasty bug, one unforgettable beignet, and a street I didn’t particularly need to see twice. 😂
Table of Contents
- We Made It to New Orleans
- Then I Got Sick
- I Can Still Taste That Beignet
- And Then There Was Bourbon Street
- I’ve Done This More Than Once
- It’s Okay to Change Your Mind
- Maybe That’s How We Find Our Lane
- You Don’t Have to Know Before You Go
- Frequently Asked Questions
We Made It to New Orleans
At the time, I was working with A.L. Williams in the life insurance and investment business.
A big convention was in New Orleans, and Rich and I were going.
Now, when you’re raising kids and running a household, going away isn’t as simple as tossing a toothbrush in a suitcase and heading to the airport.
There are kids to arrange.
Schedules to coordinate.
People who need to know where everybody is supposed to be.
But we got it handled.
Or so I thought.
Then we landed in New Orleans.
And I found out my mom was sick.
Really sick.
Which meant the plans we’d made for the kids suddenly had to change.
You know that feeling?
You’re hundreds of miles from home, and technically you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself…
But your brain is still back home rearranging everybody’s lives.
We got that figured out.
Then I Got Sick
Guess what happened next?
I got sick.
Whatever my mom had apparently decided it needed a vacation too.
And it came to New Orleans with me.
Perfect.
I’d traveled all that way for this convention, and now I felt awful.
But I was there.
And stubborn Carla wasn’t about to travel all the way to New Orleans just to stare at the inside of a hotel room.
So off we went.
I Can Still Taste That Beignet
I still remember parts of that trip all these years later.
The food.
The history.
The buildings.
The feeling of being someplace completely different from home.
But one memory?
I can still taste it.
We went to Café Du Monde in the French Market.
I had a café au lait and one of those warm beignets buried under powdered sugar.
Oh. My. Goodness.
All these years later, if I close my eyes, I can almost taste that coffee and that beignet again.
Now that was my cup of tea.
Well…coffee. 😂
Café Du Monde had already been serving coffee in the French Market for more than a hundred years by the time Rich and I arrived. Their café au lait is traditionally made with coffee, chicory, and hot milk, and those famous beignets come covered in powdered sugar.
I didn’t know – or particularly care – about all of that while I was sitting there.
I just knew it was delicious.
And isn’t it funny what our memories hang onto?
I couldn’t tell you every speaker I heard at that convention.
I couldn’t give you the schedule.
But that café au lait and beignet?
Yep. Still there.
There were other things I remember, too.
Even riding in a taxi became an experience.
Our driver started telling us about the city and its history as we drove.
I loved it.
There we were, seeing a place we’d never seen before while somebody who knew it was telling us what we were looking at.
I could have read about New Orleans in a book.
But that wouldn’t have been the same as being there.
And Then There Was Bourbon Street
Well.
I went.
I saw it.
I’m good. 😂
There were people everywhere.
Bars.
Beer.
Kegs.
Stores selling things that weren’t exactly going home in Carla’s suitcase.
It was loud.
Busy.
And very definitely…
not my cup of tea.
But here’s the funny thing.
I’m glad I saw it.
Not because I wanted to go back.
I didn’t.
I’m glad because now I know.
I didn’t have to wonder whether I was missing something.
I’d experienced it for myself.
I could say:
“Nope. That’s not for me.”
And keep walking.
I’ve Done This More Than Once
I didn’t know it then, but I’ve done that my whole life.
I’ve tried a lot of things.
Different businesses.
Different opportunities.
Different ways of making money.
Different ways of building something of my own.
Some of them I’ve loved.
Some worked for a season.
Some taught me skills I still use today.
And some?
Well…
Bourbon Street. 😂
Been there.
Saw it.
Learned something.
Kept walking.
I’ve also learned the hard way that sometimes buying everything doesn’t mean you’re learning anything. I wrote about that in The Year I Bought Everything and Learned Nothing.
For a long time, though, I didn’t look at these experiences that way.
I looked at the things I stopped doing and wondered whether I’d failed.
Maybe I should have tried harder.
Stayed longer.
Made it work.
Maybe everybody else had figured something out that I hadn’t.
That’s an easy trap to fall into.
Especially when you’ve invested money, time, or hope into something.
Walking away can feel like admitting you made the wrong decision.
I’m not so sure about that anymore.
It’s Okay to Change Your Mind
That’s taken me a long time to learn.
Starting something doesn’t mean you have to do it forever.
It’s okay to change your mind when you’ve learned something you didn’t know before.
You’re allowed to learn more.
You’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to discover that something you thought you wanted isn’t what you want at all.
And you’re allowed to say:
“I’m glad I tried it. But it isn’t for me.”
That doesn’t automatically make the experience a failure.
Sometimes the experience is exactly what helps you make the next decision.
Because now you know something you didn’t know before.
You know yourself a little better.
And sometimes it’s okay to change your mind simply because the person making today’s decision knows more than the person who made yesterday’s.
Maybe That’s How We Find Our Lane
I’ve spent a lot of years trying to figure out where I fit.
And I’ve taken a few detours getting here.
Okay.
More than a few. 😂
But when I look backward now, I can see that those detours weren’t completely wasted.
One experience taught me something about business.
Another taught me what I didn’t want.
Another showed me something I was good at.
Another introduced me to people I never would have met otherwise.
And some simply gave me enough information to say:
Not this way.
That’s information too.
Maybe finding your own lane isn’t always about knowing exactly where you’re going before you start.
Maybe sometimes you find it by moving.
Trying.
Learning.
Turning around when necessary.
And paying attention to what feels more and more like you.
You Don’t Have to Know Before You Go
Maybe there’s something you’ve been afraid to try because you’re worried you’ll make the wrong choice.
Or maybe there’s something you’ve already tried that didn’t turn out the way you expected.
Don’t be too quick to label it a failure.
Ask yourself:
What do I know now that I couldn’t have known before I tried it?
That answer matters.
Because sometimes an experience doesn’t give you the destination.
It gives you a direction.
And sometimes…
you have to go there to know you don’t want to stay.
Turns out even Bourbon Street can teach a girl something. 😂
Maybe You Don’t Need to Have It All Figured Out
I used to think I needed to know where I was going before I started.
Life hasn’t worked that way for me.
I’ve learned by trying things.
I’ve learned by making mistakes.
I’ve learned by staying.
And I’ve certainly learned by saying, “Nope. Not doing that again.” 😂
That’s part of what we’re doing inside The Blog Growth Society.
We’re taking what we’ve actually lived through and looking a little closer at it.
Not because I have all the answers.
I’m still finding some of mine underneath powdered sugar in New Orleans.
But maybe you don’t need all the answers before you begin writing either.
Maybe you just need one experience and the willingness to ask:
What did this teach me?
If you’d like some company while you figure that out, come walk beside us.
Join me inside The Blog Growth Society →
Read Next
If this story has you thinking about some of the turns you’ve taken along the way, you might enjoy these next:
- The Year I Bought Everything and Learned Nothing – Sometimes the problem isn’t that we need one more answer. Sometimes there’s simply too much noise to hear the one we already have.
- I Could Never Do What You Do, Carla – The things you’ve learned simply by living may be worth more than you realize.
- I Don’t Want to Be Forgotten When I’m Gone – The story that finally helped me understand why I’ve kept coming back to writing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to change your mind after you’ve started something?
Yes. It’s okay to change your mind after you’ve learned more. Changing direction because you have new information doesn’t automatically mean you failed. Sometimes trying something is exactly what helps you understand whether it belongs in your life.
Does changing my mind mean I’m a quitter?
No. There’s a difference between quitting every time something becomes difficult and recognizing that something no longer fits you. Experience can help you learn the difference.
How do I know when it’s time to change direction?
Look at what you’ve learned since you started. Ask whether the path still fits your goals, values, and circumstances. What you’ve already invested matters, but it doesn’t have to drive every future decision.
What if I’ve already spent money on something?
Money you’ve already spent can’t make the next decision for you. Ask whether continuing makes sense based on what you know today. Sometimes it’s okay to change your mind even after you’ve invested money, time, or effort.
Can changing direction help me find what I really want?
It can. Sometimes discovering what isn’t right for you makes what is right much easier to recognize. A detour can still teach you something about the road you want to take next.